UNDERSTANDING THE INTROVERT

Introversion is a personality type; a spectrum with certain tendencies and traits possessed only by people on that end. Introverts, like extroverts, have strongly developed personalities that attract certain personality types. Basically, none of these two personality types is better or worse than the other. They are simply different, normal and natural. The misinterpretation of introverts is often blamed on the ‘still-water-that-runs-deep’ nature of “introversion.” On the other hand, they tend to understand extroverts more and worry less about them.

Most people use the word “Introvert” offensively, like a polite insult simply because they do not understand for instance, why someone would chose not to be the centre of attention, or not to let loose every emotion and thought that comes to one’s head. They do not understand why someone would rather stay at home than hang out with just anybody, or run after people who do not fulfil them. People rarely understand why one would insist on picking and choosing so carefully whom to let into one’s world, when they others actually need to spend every minute around others just to avoid feeling lonely.

Contrary to wrong perceptions, introverts do not spend their times with closed lips, silent and uncomfortable as most people tend to see them. They do not ignore friends. Rather, they go out, tell stories and share jokes. They like being funny and obnoxious, having good times, being spontaneous and reckless. They like having fun… only that they just do not like having it with all and sundry. They weigh carefully before choosing friends, and differentiate between friends and all-and-sundry.

So, while the extrovert is lonely within and needs to go out and tap from others to be happy and enjoy company, the introvert is busy in the mind and enjoys enough company from within. As such, the introvert tries to avoid losing energy to the extrovert when he or she comes, soaring like a beautiful butterfly in a garden, perching from flower to flower for nectar. By so doing, the introvert is withdrawn.

Many find it difficult to understand what it means to be “a withdrawn or reserved person.” It means “to turn (the mind, thought, etc.) inwards upon itself; to direct (one’s thinking or effort) to that which is internal or spiritual.” This naturally belongs to the introverts who are not simply shy and reticent, but solid enough to be happy alone, internal, reserved, quiet, attentive, withdrawn and with rich imagination and artistic tendencies. This is why they are artists and writers, creators and inventors. Unlike extroverts, introverts comfortably find solace in their own company, content to sit around in their own thoughts instead of keeping friendships they view as empty.

According to study by The Gifted Development Center, 60% “gifted children” are introverts, compared to the 30% of society that’s deemed “gifted.” But introversion is misinterpreted by adults who usually try to correct the “behaviour,” as a personality function they don’t understand. That an introvert, young or old prefers to stay in the room — with his or her thoughts, in his or her own world while others are jumping about making noise — does not mean something is wrong with them. Just because one would rather be alone, does not mean one is problematic. Sometimes it just means he or she does not like you.

Nota Bene:

Introverts hate leaving their own world

 They are usually very spiritual, introspective and reflective, with a tendency to enjoy their own world where they are comfortable, safe and at peace. Studies show that their strength and weakness lie in their tendency to enjoy solitude over interaction. They feel like strangers, usually boring and uncomfortable in the extroverts’ world.

They enjoy their own thoughts more than yours

Studies also show that unlike extroverts, introverts are comfortable with their own “subjective appraisal” and do not seek for outside approval or compliments to be sure of themselves. Their personal control over their innermost desires and certainty about their own standards make them to often appear arrogant and pompous to others.

They have a hard time finding people they like

Given that introverts naturally are mostly happy alone in their own mind, they are choosy and so, often find it difficult to find compatible friends. They prefer people with like minds, not just anybody. Introverts are just the kind of people who would prefer to be around one good mind, rather 100 that appear as empty ones to them.

Edited from Lauren Martin’s “Introverts Aren’t Shy… They’re Just More Complex Than You.”

http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/are-you-an-introvert/731774/?utm_source=huffingtonpost&utm_medium=tr&utm_campaign=p10k80

5 MOST COMMON CAUSES OF MATERNAL DEATH IN NIGERIA

 Normally, pregnancy ought to be a safe and satisfying experience for the mother, culminating in the delivery of a healthy baby. However, a number of complications arising before, during or after delivery can alter this experience and spell doom for the woman. Some of these will be addressed in this article. 

1. Excessive Bleeding before Labour

This is referred to as antepartum haemorrhage. It is a leading cause of maternal mortality and is defined as any blood loss from the genital tract of a pregnant woman after 28 weeks of gestation but before the onset of labour. The two major reasons why a pregnant woman can bleed at this stage of pregnancy are low-lying placenta (placenta praevia) and premature separation of a normally situated placenta (abruptio placentae). In placenta praevia, the placenta which normally connects mother and baby occupies the lower segment instead of the fundal (upper) portion of the uterus. Consequently, every time the head of the foetus presses on the low-lying placenta, the woman bleeds. In the second condition, abruptio placentae, the placenta is located where it should be. However, as a result of several risk factors such as trauma to the abdomen (from accidents or physical assault) and smoking, the placenta is prematurely separated from the uterus leading to vaginal bleeding. This may lead to the death of both the foetus and the mother. Note that if a woman spots or bleeds per vaginam at any point during pregnancy, it is enough reason to visit her doctor and be properly evaluated. 

2. Excessive Bleeding after Delivery

While it's expected that a woman would normally bleed immediately after delivery, any blood loss in excess of 500ml following vaginal delivery should never be taken lightly. It's referred to as postpartum haemorrhage and is currently the leading reason why many women die from childbirth in developing countries. Postpartum haemorrhage can occur as a result of poorly contracted uterus (uterine atony), retained products of conception such as placenta tissue, tears or lacerations within the genital tract and less often, bleeding disorders in the mother. Unfortunately, most of these cases can be traced to poorly managed labour by unskilled traditional birth attendants many of whom do not recognise their limits and often delay in referring the woman when things get out of hand. Furthermore, it is rather disheartening that less than 46% of deliveries in developing countries like Nigeria are conducted by skilled birth attendants including trained midwives and doctors. Such simple practices as timely administration of oxytocics, rub-up contractions and complete evacuation of retained products can go a long way in stemming the tides of postpartum bleeding. 

3. Prolonged Obstructed Labour

When labour becomes prolonged and obstructed, it simply means it is no longer progressing as expected, necessitating timely intervention. However, many of the traditional birth attendants patronised by some of our women hardly ever recognise the signs and symptoms of poor progress in labour. By the time they do so and refer, it's often too late. Prolonged obstructed labour is especially common in teenage pregnancies whose pelvic size is rather too small to allow passage of the foetal head, a condition described as cephalopelvic disproportion. Cephalopelvic disproportion is also common among women with contracted pelvis due to previous accidents involving the pelvis and diabetic mothers who end up with very big babies (macrosomia) that cannot pass through their pelvis. Sometimes, it's just a full bladder that is preventing the baby's head from descending and as soon as the bladder is emptied, foetal descent progresses normally. Typically, a woman with obstructed labour may have been in the active phase of labour for over 12 hours and is already exhausted, agitated and dehydrated. The urine may be concentrated and the vulva edematous ('tomato' vulva). Once a diagnosis of obstructed labour is made, the next option is to prepare the woman for an emergency caesarean section to forestall complications like foetal and/or maternal death, vesicovaginal fistulas and obstetric palsy among others. 

4. Infections

It's also quite common for women to die as a result of infections in the post-delivery period. This is referred to as puerpereal sepsis. It can occur when delivery (vaginal or caesarean) is conducted in unhygienic conditions or when there are infected retained products of conception in the mother. Usually, the woman may start experiencing continuous high-grade fever, abdominal pain with foul-smelling vaginal discharge. If the woman delivered by caesarean section, the surgical site may break down with associated discharge of foul-smelling pus. If aggressive treatment with effective antibiotics is not commenced, the woman may die from complications such as septic shock or disseminated intravascular coagulopathy (DIC).

5. Hypertensive Disorders of Pregnancy

Preeclampsia-eclampsia is a major cause of death among pregnant women. Some pregnant mothers had been hypertensive before pregnancy while in others, the hypertension is pregnancy-induced i.e. they are diagnosed as hypertensive for the first time during pregnancy. Whichever is the case, any pregnant woman with persistently elevated blood pressure needs to have her urine tested for protein. If the urine contains significant quantities of protein, she has pre-eclampsia which must be promptly managed to forestall convulsions as a result of eclampsia, a lethal condition that is associated with significant maternal mortality before, during and after childbirth. Safe antihypertensives and prophylactic magnesium sulphate are usually employed to stop the progression of pre-eclampsia to eclampsia. However, hypertension can only be promptly detected and managed in a pregnant woman who registers for antenatal care at a hospital and keeps her clinic appointments.

Source < http://www.nigerianbulletin.com/threads/5-most-common-reasons-why-nigerian-women-die-at-childbirth.133055/

5 HEALTH SYMPTOMS ONE SHOULD NEVER IGNORE

Serious health problems usually give warning signs/symptoms people don't pay attention to resulting in complications/death! These symptoms are NEVER to be ignored, check on them. There are symptoms if only people knew were signs of serious underlying health issues would have been tackled and a lot of complications avoided.

Most times, some serious health problems start out with signs/symptoms people don't pay attention to, letting slide until the condition gets to a point where it becomes unresponsive to treatments.

If you notice any of the symptoms below, don't ignore them instead get medical help immediately:

1. If you notice blood in urine

Blood in urine should never be ignored! If you notice blood in urine and pain at your side or your back it may be kidney stones or even cancer which needs urgent expert attention.

2. Weakness or numbness in arms, legs, face etc

If you notice numbness in the arm, face, legs or on one side of the body, it could be a sign of stroke.

If you have issues maintaining your balance, difficulty walking, dizziness, blurred vision, intense headache and more, get expert help.

3. Burning sensation during urination

If you notice burning sensation during urination or urinate more often than usual, you may have kidney infection and should see a doctor.

4. Intense chest pain

If you have chest pains accompanied with shortness of breath, chest tightness or heavy breathing and sweating you should see a doctor as this could be a sign of heart attack or heart disease.

5. Wheezing or difficulty breathing

If you notice a whistling sound and difficulty when you breathe it could be from reaction to chemical exposure, an allergy, asthma attack or even lung disease, make sure not to ignore the signs, see a doctor.

By Olamide Olarenwaju

http://pulse.ng/wellness/health-tips-5-symptoms-you-should-never-ignore-id4189063.html?utm_campaign=art-health-tips-5-symptoms-you-should-never-ignore-2015-09-22&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook

SEX EDUCATION: WHAT DO YOUR KIDS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX?

What do you do when your pre-schooler asks you where babies come from? Do you tell her to go and ask daddy? Or maybe laugh off the question? Or alternatively tell her that when she is old enough, she’ll understand?

In as much as this is a topic we would rather avoid altogether, we parents need to ask ourselves this question – ‘Is it better for our kids to learn about sex from us or from the kid down the road or maybe from the television or perhaps social media?’ The truth is that as our kids mature in age, they will begin to have some very serious questions and if mommy and daddy are too uncomfortable answering them, they will go looking for answers out there.

Now, even though we want to be the one providing the right answers for our kids, we must do so within age appropriate contexts. I have heard of books, which visually and explicitly describe sex between animals or even between humans, being used to teach young toddlers. In response to such explicit tools, I will ask this – At this age, when your kid asks you where babies come from, do you think he’s really after the sexual details or is he simply interested in the superficial ‘pregnancy and baby’ factor. I will go with the second option and would rather keep it simple and basic at this tender age.

Before going any further, let’s understand that the real sex education begins much earlier than we realize. For example, you see your one-year old playing with his penis. What do you do? Look away? Laugh about it? Or gently caution him?

Here’s another example – You turn on the TV and a musical video involving a man openly lusting after a scantily dressed girl, is on. Your response to the music is an indication of whether or not you support the act.

Yet another example – Your kid walks into the room when you’re naked and fascinated, tries playing with your private parts. What do you do? At the age of 3, are daddy and your little girl taking baths together?

Final example – You and your kid are in a public place and a sexual joke is made. Do you laugh out loud?

Well, all these and many more other examples are silent lessons in sex education, which we unknowingly offer our kids. So, do be careful!

Now at the tender ages of about 2-3, I believe it shouldn’t be more than maybe getting the kids to recognize their body parts. Lessons here should be kept simple and playful because we are not trying to get our kids to make sexual decisions. We are simply trying to get them to know their body. So for example, when giving your daughter a bath, you could engage her by saying stuffs like – ‘Let’s wash your armpit before your bum’. That way, you have taught her what her ‘armpit’ is and what her ‘bum’ is, without putting unnecessary emphasis on either and without giving either a false name.

However between the ages of 3 and 5, when your kid is probably wondering where his baby brother popped out from, you don’t necessarily have to say from heaven. Saying ‘Daddy and mommy made him together and then he stayed in mommy’s tummy until he was ready to come out’ is probably going to be enough for your kid. That way he is beginning to learn the reality of sex within his age appropriate context.

Or maybe you have a very inquisitive 5-year old that pushes you further with the ‘how’ question. You could let him know that mommy and daddy made a baby together because they love each other in a special, adult way. Don’t shut him down or fill him with lies. Just keep your answers simple and eventually he will be done with the questions. Also note that really, at the end of the day, the stuff you expose your kids to may influence the depth of their questions. So watch out for even the supposedly harmless cartoons which sometimes contain content too mature for little eyes and ears. Also, don’t always wait for your kid to ask the questions. For example, when you are pregnant, carry him along by regularly chatting him up about the fact that his baby brother is growing in your tummy.

In addition, at this tender age (3 – 5 years), with the unfortunate state of our society, it is important you teach your kid the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touches. Let her know that her private parts are her private and off limits, even to familiar aunties and uncles. Again, you can do this without making a fuss out of it. What is important is for him/her to know just enough to raise an alarm in case of anything inappropriate.  

As they advance in age, you begin to teach them that all living things reproduce. As they approach puberty, you begin to take them through what to expect. A bit later, even the schools will begin to take them up on detailed reproduction facts and by the time real, pressing questions about sex begin to evolve, be sure to let them know what your own values are (don’t force them down on them). For example I would be careful to let my kids know that contrary to the picture painted by the world of entertainment, sex should be anything but casual and should actually exist between two married adults who love themselves. I won’t pretend that there are no protections such as condoms available. Instead, I will point out that based on my own beliefs and value system, the best type of protection is abstinence. I would work at getting to them before the world does

That way, I would have given them the truthful facts so that when they do go out there, they would appreciate the fact that mommy and daddy didn’t lie to them and they would also have enough information to make the right decision.

*Do you know that according to ‘betterhealth’ research shows that…

§  Fathers tend to avoid taking part in sex education discussions.

§  When fathers do talk to their children about sex, they limit the conversation to less intimate issues.

§  Mothers are more likely to talk about intimate, emotional and psychological aspects of sex than fathers.

§  Mothers talk more about sex to their daughters than their sons.

§  Parents tend to leave boys in the dark about female sexual issues such as menstruation.

§  Parents may assume the school system will take care of their child’s sex education, and so choose to say nothing.

§  Parents may postpone talks about sex until they see evidence of the child having a relationship

§  Parents tend to show embarrassed or awkward body language when talking to their child about sex: for example, avoiding eye contact.

So, what’s your own take on sex education amongst kids? What do kids need to know about sex? Do share your own view on the matter. How have you successfully handled your kids’ inquisitive questions?

Article courtesy of http://mommymomentsng.com/sex-education-what-do-your-kids-need-to-know-about-sex/

SOME FRENCH WORDS USED IN AMERICAN ENGLISH

The French language constitutes a reasonable percentage of the English language vocabulary. From the VOA Learning English Program, let us look at some of them as used in the American English.

1) MAYDAY: This is an emergency code usually used by pilots to communicate that a plane is in danger of crashing to the ground. It is from the French expression “(Venez) m’aider,” or “m’aidez,” which means “Help Me.” 

Frederick Stanley Mockford created the Mayday call signal in the 1920s, as a radio officer at Croydon Airport in London. Today, the Mayday call is given three times to signal a life-threatening emergency.

2) SABOTAGE: It means to destroy or damage as an act of subversion against an organization or nation. 

A person who sabotages is a Saboteur. 

3) LAISSEZ-FAIRE: It means to leave alone and not interfere. It was first used in France in the 18th century.

4) ENTREPRENEUR: It means a person who starts and operates a new business and takes the responsibility for any risks involved.

5) FILM NOIR: It is a movie about murder and other crimes. Such films were popular in the 1940s and 50s. 

6) AVANT-GARDE: This refers to anything in art, music or literature that is very modern or ahead of its time. 

7) RÉSUMÉ: It is a documentation of one’s education, skills and experience.  

8) SAUTÉ: This means frying something quickly in a small amount of oil or butter. 

9) FLAMBÉ: It is a technique by which alcohol is added to 
a dish and then lit on fire.

10) BON APPÉTIT: It means “good appetite,” 
or “enjoy your meal.”

11)        BON VOYAGE: It means “have a good trip.”
Au revoir! (Good-bye!)

Adapted from http://learningenglish.voanews.com/content/french-words-in-american-english/2770892.html 

PRAY WITH A CHRISTIAN SPIRIT, FOR OUR GOD IS NOT AMADIOHA.

Usually, on the first day of the month my News Feed is full of all sorts of vindictive prayers. Prayers that call down fire and brimstone on all enemies of progress who will stifle breakthroughs and miracles which have been on the way since God-knows-when, and which are expected to land that month. Given the long line of "Amen" that usually respond to such incantations, there is the need look at the need to pray for our needs according to the mind of Christ our Master and Saviour (Matt 6:9-13 and Luke 11:2-4).

Anyone who intentionally works against another's progress (physically or spiritually) is an enemy of progress. And the normal reaction towards an enemy is defeat by any possible means, including elimination and destruction. According to the Scriptures, with God all things are possible (Matt 19:26). Anything we ask in Jesus name would be granted (John 14:14). And we can do all things in Christ (Philippians 4:13). Therefore, it sounds logical to use the simplest means in vogue i.e., calling on God to rain down fire and brimstone to destroy anybody standing between us and our suspected breakthrough to our destiny.

But Christ our perfect example as Christians also had many strong enemies, both human and spiritual. Trusting in God, he persevered to his glorious destiny without destroying none; even though he had the powers (Matt 26: 53; John 18:36). Foreseeing our challenges with similar forces therefore, one of the instructions he leaves for us among his many teachings is:

"But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust." (Matt 5: 44-45).

Thus, vengeance against the enemy belongs to God (Deut 32: 35; Rom 12: 19; Heb 10: 30; etc). We all are sinful sons of the same father. In our prayers therefore, we do not need to ask our loving and merciful father to hurt or destroy our fellow brothers and sisters simply bcs they hurt us with their own sins. Rather, we need to ask God for protection against such enemies, and pray for his mercy and grace of repentance on them.

Humanly speaking, this is difficult. But that is the Christian spirit. Christ showed us many examples of forgiving the enemy, including when Peter cut off the ear of the servant of the high priest (Matt 26:51-52), and most importantly, by forgiving those who crucified him on the cross (Luke 23:34). Our own circumstances may differ. But the solution remains the same.

If the God of hosts is with us and the God of Jacob is our stronghold (Psalm 46:7), if there is greater joy in heaven over a sinner that repents (Luke 15:7), if Christ and his Disciples/Apostles drove out demons and never commanded them to quench by fire, and if he did not curse even those who crucified him to die by fire, my Christian teachings tell me that it is wrong for any Christian to call on God's vengeance to destroy a fellow sinful human being bcs he/she in his or her sins happens to be an enemy. We are also enemies both to God and one another in our own sins (Isaiah 53:6; Rom 3:23, etc.). We need to always forgive one another as much as we need God's mercy in our own sins (Mtt 6: 14-15), and his protection in the hands of fellow human beings who are inimical to us due to their own sins. We also need to form the habit of praying positively. Paul and Silas conquered their own enemies with songs of praise (Acts 16:25). While we remain faithful and forgiving children of God, the avenging God (Psalm 94) will determine the fullness of time for his vengeance for us.

As for the spiritual enemy, we simply need to be grateful to God for his ceaseless shield against such forces. And we need to strongly trust in him, and pray for his continued protection always. I am still searching to see in the Bible where God destroyed any demon because it was inimical to a believer. The highest I have seen is where the demon was cast out; not even into abyss or the pit of hell as I hear many people shout in the name of praying.

So, I wonder why anybody can say such things in the name of praying to God as a Christian. Unless one is praying to Amadioha, Sango, Igwe-ka-ala, Ala-ogbaga, etc. Let us learn to pray with a Christian spirit. Our God is not a heathen god.