Unfaithfulness
is used to describe someone who is involved in an extramarital affair. But what
most people fail to know is that being faithful in marriage is far more
complicated than cheating on your partner.
Faithfulness
encompasses elements such as love, commitments, loyalty, and patience. And,
according to the Bible, faithfulness means staying true to your partner, being
trustworthy, certain, steadfast and sure, just like the Biblical Ruth.
When
couples are joined in holy matrimony, faithfulness is the bedrock of the vows
they exchange while you hear them say, ‘to stay with you in sickness, in
health, for better, for worse’. But despite the fact that we all know that
faithfulness is one of the qualities required in marriage, how many married
couples are really faithful to their spouses?
What most
people fail to know is that being faithful to your partner is far beyond not
having extra-marital affairs or avoiding inappropriate emotional intimacies.
Partners who are faithful stick together in times of trouble.
According
to Pastor Alonge, a relationship counsellor, a faithful partner is that man
that is willing to stand by his wife during difficult times, and not the one
that professes to be faithful to his wife but runs away when there is trouble.
“Any
man who is willing to stand by his wife when she has not given him a child
after many years of marriage is faithful. A man who still sees his wife as
being completed after she has been diagnosed with breast cancer is faithful.”
A
faithful man is not such that does cheat on his wife, but the man that is not
willing to yield to the negative advice of family, but is ready to stay with
his wife even when she has not given him children after many years of marriage.
Clara,
32, had complications while she was pregnant with her first child, having been
married for two years. This led to the removal of her womb, but rather than her
husband, Simon, leaving, he decided to stay true to that love that brought them
together and to the oath of faithfulness they swore to on their wedding day.
If you
ask me, not too many men can do what Simon did for his wife. He said he would
rather adopt children than leave his wife frustrated, because she did not bring
the complications that led to the removal of her womb upon herself.
Most
men will choose to yield to the advice of their parents and family members to
remarry, because to them, living with a woman without womb is equivalent to
living with another man.
Someone
who is faithful to her spouse is that woman who will do all to stand by her
husband when they have lost all the money and comfort they used to enjoy when
they just got married. And not the woman who nags and threatens to leave her
husband when things are no longer going smoothly for them.
When we
look more closely to the impact of faithfulness and the consequences of
unfaithfulness, it becomes apparent that faithfulness is not just desirable, it
is essential to a vibrant, healthy marriage. Notice that faithfulness is not a
quality measured or dependent upon the faithfulness of one’s spouse.
Faithfulness
is an expression of the integrity and character of an individual. It is not a
relationship quality, it is a personal characteristic.
This
quality of faithfulness is tested many times in a marriage. We all find out
sooner or later that our spouse is not a perfect person. They come up with
habits that turn us off at times. Faithfulness is that quality of being
trustworthy and true when we have all the justification needed to fall toward
judgement, resentment, and contempt for our spouse.
Marital
crisis and distress can bring out the worst in us. It can also be an occasion
for growth and discovery of what is best and most precious in us. Faithful
persons embrace the faith, hope, and opportunity to believe something better is
possible.
It is a
beautiful and precious expression of love and it is most clear when set in the
context of marital disappointment, pain, and despair.
Married couples should learn to embrace God, the author of
faithfulness. When your heart is filled with His love, no circumstance can
separate you from your spouse. Because with the help of God, you will be
willing to stick with your spouse to face all opposition with the hope of
victory.
By KEHINDE AJOBIEWE Ø http://www.leadership.ng/