19 Jul 2012


Bishop Zollitsch on Preparations and Expectations

I remain impressed by my experience in Nigeria: I was able to experience there the enormous service given by catechists, especially in the rural areas_ Bishop Zollitsch
ROME, JULY 17, 2012 (Zenit.org).-On the occasion of the 50th anniversary of the opening of the Second Vatican Council, Benedict XVI has proclaimed a Year of Faith, which will begin Oct. 11.
In an exclusive interview with ZENIT, the president of the German Episcopal Conference, Archbishop Robert Zollitsch of Fribourg of Brisgovia spoke of the event and of the situation of the faith in Germany.

ZENIT: Why do we need today -- 50 years after Vatican II, which sought to promote a New Evangelization -- an initiative like the Year of Faith?
Archbishop Zollitsch: Jesus sent the Apostles saying: “Go out to the whole world.” Hence, in every moment and in every place the Church has the obligation to proclaim, with perseverance, the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This was also the conviction of the Fathers of Vatican II and, precisely because of this, an evangelizing thrust began from the Council. Today, 50 years later much has changed and it is good to give a new dynamic to this thrust. The Year of Faith, which as the Holy Father affirms, is founded on the Council, intends to serve this request. The appeal to the New Evangelization serves this purpose.
Because of the numerous changes that have occurred in the last decades and their impact on society, we live, on one hand, a considerable secularization and alienation from the faith of the Church, and on the other hand, a rather new desire of self-transcendence, to put one’s life in a larger sphere than the one known, a desire of hope in God. Many countries in which a religion prevails – and in particular Christian life – succeeded in creating active and believing community relations; today they are characterized, rather, by indifference and a variety of religious options.
However, this does not yet mean that disposition to a Christian spirituality or openness to an interpretation of a specifically Christian sense is lost. It is a question of proclaiming and witnessing credibly and authentically the Gospel of the closeness of God in Jesus Christ in a changed age. In this connection, a New Evangelization should promote an opening and deepening of a pure and solid faith and be force of true liberation.

ZENIT: You are a member of the Pontifical Council for Promoting New Evangelization. What is your specific role?
Archbishop Zollitsch: For us members of this still very young Pontifical Council there are no specific areas of collaboration. For me it is very important, at the beginning, to take up the particular opportunities of this work and to learn from other countries how the situation of the New Evangelization is fairing there. Then of course I would like to transmit to the Council the experience of the New Evangelization in Germany. We already have long-term enthusiastic initiatives. Already 12 years ago, the German bishops laid the basis for the Holy Father’s reflections in their document Zeit der Aussaat – missionarisch Kirche sein (Sowing Season – To Be a Missionary Church).

ZENIT: What is the heart of the New Evangelization of which the Pope speaks?
Archbishop Zollitsch: The heart of the New Evangelization is the transmission of the faith to the people of today. This faith supports and reinforces. He who believes is never alone, said the Holy Father himself. This includes the opening of the way to people that can have an experience of God as Christ proclaimed Him. It is about how to transmit to people strong and basic values for a life of Christian faith. This isn’t possible without a living and trustworthy community in the family, in affectionate relations and strong communities. Here the individual is inserted in something of the community, and in a union that can sustain the faith of others. Christ made his own participants of his faith, more than that: God has made us participants of his life through Jesus Christ – and he does so again today. Born from participation is the particular, also one’s own witness of faith. We must so act that people seek and find God in all things, men and events. However the spiritual evolution of the last decades cannot be easily overturned. Proclamation of the Gospel is a long process. It requires much care of details, even apparently insignificant, from person to person, from family to family.

ZENIT: How is the bond, in Germany, with the universal Church and with the Pope?
Archbishop Zollitsch: The local Church in Germany German is very well connected with the universal Church. It began with an intense exchange between the Episcopal Conferences, in particular, at the European level. It is noticeable also in our humanitarian organizations, so committed at the level of the worldwide Church. And, of course, the German Episcopal Conference has close contacts with our Holy Father in Rome. I myself meet with him regularly. In fact, through my appointment to the Pontifical Council for the New Evangelization, I live all this in a stronger way. We have had many positive experiences in Germany with the New Evangelization, namely, concrete applications of what the Holy Father expects. We bring this experience to the debate and we are grateful for what we can learn from other local Churches. For example, I remain impressed by my experience in Nigeria: I was able to experience there the enormous service given by catechists, especially in the rural areas. I am convinced that every local Church has something to share and that we can walk together on the way of an adult faith.
-      By Jan Bentz, zenit.org
-       [Translation by ZENIT]

18 Jul 2012



16 Jul 2012


Prolonged wearing of high heels can cause a permanent damages like bunions, hammertoes, leg tendons.. This are mainly caused due to pressure on ball of the foot. The higher the heels, the greater is the pressure. This can also affect the knee and back. So on wearing high heels continuously you are increasingly damaging your feet. If you love your health be cautious.
Medical Students


For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you!!! It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this “sludge” reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal. A serious note about heart attacks – You should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let’s be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive. A cardiologist says if everyone who reads this message sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we’ll save at least one life.
< General Knowledge


Experts on Thursday revealed that the number of men suffering painful testicular problems is on the rise because of tight jeans. Doctors have reported an increase in injuries being caused by the jeans, which are favoured by celebrities. Low fluid count and fungal infections are also being put down to the tight-fitting jeans.

A doctor said, ‘I have seen several cases of men who have twisted their testicles due to wearing jeans that are far too tight. My advice would be to make sure you leave plenty of room around the groin area and that your pants and trousers feel comfortable so you’re not being restricted in any way’. Men who wear tight or ill-fitting trousers or underwear which is restrictive around the groin area could be damaging their health. Oh well, you have heard it. You guys had better take to advice and don’t make them shrink.

14 Jul 2012


A medical practitioner, Dr. Bunmi Ogundimu, says breast feeding does not make a woman’s breasts to become flat. Ogundimu, who is also the Medical Director, Jon Ken Hospital, Akoka, Lagos, said this in an interview with the News Agency of Nigeria. She explained that rather, breast feeding makes the breasts fuller as a result of the fluid sucked by the baby.

Breast feeding does not make a woman’s chest flat. If anything, the breast becomes fuller when a woman is breastfeeding. This is because it is going to contain all the fluid that goes into the baby’s mouth so it will expand,” she said.
According to her, there are many women who have not breast fed all their lives and yet have flat chests. The medical director said that breast would go flats with age when the muscles holding it drop, adding that the medical term for it was ‘entropy’ which means to shrink. I always tell women if you want full breasts even long after you stopped breast feeding make sure you breast feed very well. “Each time a woman is breast feeding, the turgidity of the breast remains,” she said.
Ogundimu further explained that any part of the body that failed to perform its functions would shrink at the end of the day. She added that if the breast was not used for its function in the name of fashion, it would also shrink. The medical director said that any husband interested in the shape of his wife’s breasts should encourage her to breast feed adequately.


THE entire Catholic community will today celebrate the Centenary of the advent of the Roman Catholic faith to the old Owerri Ecclesiastic Province.

White missionaries from Portugal, led by Rev. Fr. Ferah, in 1912, stepped into the royal family of Eze Ejeshi Amadi-Obi in Ezedibia, Emekuku, establishing a temporary church in the family.

The church was later moved quite close-by to where it is today, Mount Camel, Emekuku.

A successor-ruler, Eze Kele Gogo Amadi Obi later facilitated the erection of the permanent site of the church in Emekuku.

Briefing The Guardian at the weekend in Owerri, a community leader in Ezedibia, Emekuku, and a staffer of the State Ministry of Agriculture and Natural Resources, Ejeshi Obi, noted that to mark the event, the Archbishop of Owerri Ecclesiastic Province, Dr. Anthony J. V. Obinna, would celebrate Mass in the Eze Obi Compound, where the missionaries first officiated Mass in 1912.

Ejeshi Obi said Dr. Obinna would formally unveil a Divine Pilgrim site-Ihu Father- after Mass.
It was gathered that representatives from Catholic Dioceses in the South -east and South-south geo- political zone, as well as government officials, would attend the event.

By Charles Ogugbuaja
<AfricaWorld Newspapers

10 Jul 2012


You may have heard that the mouth is the dirtiest place in the body; this is because saliva contains numerous microorganisms. Human bites are said to be more dangerous than a dog bites as it contains more bacteria says the CDC. Worldwide there are billions of kisses exchanged by people each year. The air kiss, casual peck on the cheek or the cultured kiss on the hand aren’t much of a threat but a kiss that exchanges saliva from one another is a different matter.

1. COLDS: many viruses cause the common cold. It can spread by direct contact with the virus, from airborne droplets, or from direct contact with secretions from the infected person’s nose and throat.
2. INFECTIOUS MONONUCLEOSIS: also known as kissing disease is caused by Epstein Barr virus. The virus is spread through saliva and infection occurs through contact.
3. HERPES INFECTION: includes varicella zoster (causes chicken pox) and herpes simplex (cold sores in mouth). Herpes is easily spread to others when others when cold sore blisters are forming or have erupted. The virus is shed to others from the site of blisters even when they have healed. So, can you get herpes from kissing: yes.
1. HEPATITIS-B: kissing may also transmit this virus even though it may be contained in higher levels in blood. Infection can occur when infected blood and saliva come into direct contact with someone else’s bloodstream or mucous membrane. A person may be easily infected if they have sores in and around the mouth.
2. WARTS: these can spread through kissing especially if in case of recent trauma.
3. HAND, FOOT AND MOUTH DISEASE: this is caused by Coxsackie virus and is spread through open sores in the mouth. This infection is common in kids especially those in day care. It is spread via the fecal oral route (maybe while changing diapers)
1. MENINGOCOCCAL DISEASE: this is a life threatening condition which includes meningitis, (inflammation of the membranes that surround the brain and spinal cord) and septicemia. Studies show that deep kissing seems to be one of the risk factors.
2. TOOTH DECAY: numerous studies indicate that Streptococcus mutans, the main bacteria implicated with caries is transmissible. Direct contact occurs most commonly via kissing. Indirect contact occurs though shared contaminated objects such as eating utensils, toothbrushes, cups and even toys.
There appears to be a strong link between mother and child and transmission usually occurs after the teeth have erupted in babies as S. mutans has difficulty colonizing other oral surfaces. We love our babies and it is natural to show them this love and affection, however, kissing babies on the mouth is harmful to their dental health.
The American academy of Periodontology says more than 75% of adults over 35 have some form of gum disease. Since gum diseases are considered the equivalent of open wounds kissing or having oral sex when you or your partner had bleeding gums is an invitation for the transmission of unwanted organisms.
There is no need to give up kissing; while disease causing bugs can be transferred during a kiss, most won’t cause the disease and the risk of serious disease is small BUT it may happen. And it’s not all bad. Research into passionate kissing has uncovered many valuable health benefits. For those who are calorie conscious a 60 second kiss burns 26 calories.
Be conscious to keep your mouth as healthy and germ free as possible every day. Make sure your partner takes preventive actions too so that you can both enjoy those smooches. Also don’t forget your pet!! When your beloved pet welcomes you home, slobbering your face with kisses, he is also gifting you his germs. Don’t forget to keep his/her mouth healthy too.
For more information visit www.wtnperioblog.com

8 Jul 2012


For the uninformed first-time visitor, the serene atmosphere could be deceptive. Everybody seems too busy either minding or going about his or her legitimate business. But that is how far the good story about Itiro (pronounced “Interior”), a tiny fun spot tucked away in Agboju community in Amuwo Odofin Local Government Area of Lagos State, goes.

Except for the initiate, Itiro is not a popular place. Even for the very few who are conversant with Agboju, the name is out of it. But though an obscure area located behind the roots and herb market near the Mile 2-Badagry Expressway, Itiro bubbles 24 hours every day. It is a beehive of flagrant immorality and lawlessness; perhaps Nigeria’s version of the Biblical Sodom and Gomorrah. Itiro thrives in the bad and the ugly, harbouring prostitutes of the weirdest class, serial rapists as well as drug and alcoholic addicts.

At both sides of the Itiro’s dark alley are two long and windy face-me-I-face-you structures that serve as home and workplace for the sex hawkers. Both the young and the old, some of them pretty enough to harass the scarecrow, literally dot the scores of doorposts displaying their fleshy wares. Itiro is home to seemingly retired prostitutes even though activities in the sex marketplace suggest that age is hardly a barrier.

Within a stretch of the gangway in the area is a sharp bend on the left (if the visitor came through the Expressway) and on the right, if through the Old Ojo road, that leads to another dark enclave where marijuana and other hard drugs are freely consumed. A source told Sunday Sun that serial rapists also operate at the same dark spot where hard substances are sold and consumed. Here, the only law that operates is lawlessness.

After a good dose of hard drugs, the usually male clients would move over to the beer palours that adorn the place to drown themselves in hot drinks and beer before patronising the flesh hawkers. Those who cannot afford the beer and hot drinks usually go for the comparatively cheaper local dry gin otherwise known as ‘kai kai’ or “Ogogoro” in local parlance. Many inhale a powdery substance they ignorantly refer to as ‘solution,’ which is highly intoxicating.

When our correspondent visited the enclave pretending to be a passerby as strictly instructed by his guide, three haggard-looking old whores with flabby breasts closed in on him, displaying their traditional seductive antics. Here, the women come in various complexions, shapes and sizes. You have the old and the young; the big and the small; the heavily breasted with highly endowed buttocks, the tall and the short; the fair-skinned, dark-skinned or chocolate coloured.

Also, there are the ‘old horses’ and the tenderfoot scrambling to stay afloat in the business. One of them was so daring that she nudged this reporter with her breasts signalling him into a cave-like room for business discussion.

Though our correspondent was surprised, it was obvious that the action was not novel and so, he played along. The old lady was shapeless, huge and tall with intimidating stretch marks on the essential parts of her body. As she was busy twisting her waist, displaying her flabby and stretch-marked breasts, lubricating her lips in a sexually enticing manner while manipulating her eyes salaciously, our correspondent asked her what she wanted.

She said she wanted hot and scintillating sex and that the price was affordable. On further inquiry, she told our correspondent that having it with the lady completely naked or ‘pull clothes,’ a it is tagged in the trade, goes for N1000 while half nakedness attracts a paltry N700.

When our correspondent protested that the price was too high, she came down to N500 and eventually volunteered to offer her services free if he did not have any cash, provided the rest of the negotiation was done inside her room. At this point, our reporter sensed danger and asked to be excused for some minutes to enable him go and eat before the real business.

She obliged and the reporter escaped. But that smart move was soon aborted by another ‘grandma’ who accosted him. It was around 10:30am. This time, Clara as she was later identified didn’t waste any minute in telling him how she would give him any style he wanted. She said she was ready to take the reporter to ‘cloud 7’ and prove to him that ‘there are prostitutes but there are prostitutes.’ Asked about her state of origin, Clara debunked the popular belief that women from a particular riverine state in the country are more proficient in sexual acts pointing out that some people could disappoint you when the chips are down.

“This has got nothing to do with tribe. Let me tell you, I know what I can do. Tribe doesn’t matter. It is not a determinant in this game. It’s just a personal effort at being the best of what you do. It is a personal skill that is learnt over the years; that’s all. I will give you whatever style you want,” Clara promised.

Asked to mention the styles she knew and which one she was expert in, she retorted: “Is it the front, the back, the side-by-side, the squatting, the acrobatic or what do you want? I know that most men like back style. Whichever style you choose, you will not regret knowing me, and you will ever come back to look for me; I promise you. Just try me.”

Apparently suspecting that this reporter did not have the N1000 she had demanded, she also volunteered to render free service to prove the old saying that, “One good turn deserves another”. But the reporter quickly applied his earlier strategy. “Let me go and eat first because the way I am seeing your eyes, if we go into that room, you will rape me and I have not eaten today or do you want to kill somebody?”

Protesting the request, Clara wondered how a young man like the reporter should be talking about death because of simple early morning sex, which according to her, should be the safest because in her reasoning that is when the energy of every able-bodied young man ought to be at the maximum, breakfast or no breakfast.

When Sunday Sun went back the second time around 7:30pm to observe nightlife in Itiro, another chapter was opened. The prostitutes were at their element. Each displayed her entire arsenal except the ‘sacred forest,’ all in a bid to lure men to bed and make some cool cash. Also paraded were different shapes and sizes of breasts, some of them very flat that one could mistake their bearers for men, if not for the skimpy pants they put on. Some have extra large and loose boobs while others flaunt long paw-paw-like breasts with heavy stretch marks.

Also on display were seemingly standing boobs which on enquiry, turned out to be false, papier-mâché breasts meant to hoodwink and attract customers. One of the hawkers came out with heavily built ‘front arrows’ dangerously sprouting, with the nipples pointing sharply, an indication that they were supported with groundnut as our reporter later found out.

It was also discovered that the prostitutes at Itiro offer breast sucking for a token. Some men, Sunday Sun checks revealed, go there to suck breasts only for a fee. It was further gathered that such men either suffer poor erection or are afraid of contracting sexually transmitted diseases.

To confirm this finding, this reporter approached one of the women and demanded for breast-sucking only. The young fat hawker in her 50s, who later gave her name as Rose demanded for N300 for 10 minutes of breast-suck. She said that most of them dislike the idea of sucking their breasts without doing the real thing but they would readily oblige but for a fee, if that is what their customer wants. According to her, the women are averse to breast-suck alone for three reasons.

One, the money is small. Two, it takes longer time and three, it causes emotional discomfort for them because they would have been taken to “cloud 7 and ready for action” only for the customer to end the fantasy midway. This, according to her, has often forced a good number of them to offer free sex just to stabilise their erotic emotion.

“The breast-suck no be am. We just dey do that one just because of bad market. If market dey, nobody get time for that because e no dey pay big money and e dey make our body one kind after the man don suck finish. “Many of us go even look for men wey go do us even if they no get money. We no mind but make our body cool down first. So, no be say we like am like that but just bad market,” Rose explained in pidgin English.

Talking of Itiro and its notoriety, a young man who sells recharge cards at Agboju bus stop, described it as small but mighty. He shared his experience on a particular day. “That very fateful day, I decided to take that route to my house at the other side of Old Ojo road having closed for the day’s work. While on my way home, one hefty woman just grabbed me by the waist from behind. Though it was about 8pm, I wrestled to extricate myself from her grip and I told her that I was a child of God.

She called the attention of her colleagues and they were laughing and booing me saying, “Pastor wey dey pass where Ashawo dey live, wetin e dey find; no be sex?” They laughed but I hurriedly escaped and since that day I have not passed through the place again.”

Continuing, he said: “It is not only those Ashawo you see there that made Itiro a very bad place. If you look at the alley very well, you will see an adjoining entrance by your left. If you went in through the Badagry-Mile 2 Expressway, it will lead you to another point where the bad boys smoke all kinds of Indian hemp and what have you.

“The place is also known for rape. There are rapists prowling around, though that normally happens at night. If you are a female and maybe you are a stranger and you go near the place at night, they would just descend on you. I think that is because having taken much drugs and alcohol, they would naturally want to have sex and if they don’t have money to pay those prostitutes, they would descend on any innocent girl they see around.”

Another man who identified himself as Clement and sells clothes at the Old Ojo Road side of Itiro said the class of prostitutes that the place parades are mostly women in their late 50s and early 60s. He told a story of a young man who visited her mother-in-law living in the place. The woman saw nothing wrong in the visit just as her daughter and husband did not see anything wrong in what the woman was doing. Clement saw everything wrong with such actions.

Speaking about rape in the vicinity, a man who lives in the neighbourhood told Sunday Sun that people are raped virtually every day. “There are serial rapists in that small enclave called Itiro. They would be at the Express side of the jungle to direct ladies who are looking for a connecting road to the Old Ojo road. They would appear as real helpers but they are wolves in sheep’s clothing. As soon as their target enters, they would signal their accomplices at a dark spot before the other side of Old Ojo road.

Those ones would whisk the unlucky lady to their base threatening her to submission with weapon. And the most surprising thing is that unless you are told, you can never suspect that such a place exists. There is no sign that such evil is perpetrated in the place but if you put your ear to the ground, you will get more than you even bargained for. It is that bad,” he said.

Investigation revealed that aside prostitution and rape, another bad side of Itiro is drug business. Substances such as Marijuana or ‘Igbo’ in local parlance and other hard drugs as well as local gin (kai kai) are sold and consumed with reckless abandon; thus, making Itiro a breeding ground for criminals and a hide-out for hoodlums.

Checks also revealed that the police are aware of the place and the level of crime that goes on there but chose to do nothing because they are also alleged beneficiaries. It was gathered that each time they stormed the place, they would be offered free sex, after which, they would look the other way. It was also learnt that sometimes, the law enforcement agents would force the women to sleep with them or risk being arrested.

As for the drug peddlers, it was discovered that they are allowed to carry on with their trade unhindered because some of the policemen also patronize them. Each time they go there, they are offered the hard drugs and some bottles of beer-free-of-charge and with that, the illicit business goes on unhindered.

Checks also revealed that Itiro, as small and obscure as it is, bubbles with activities round the clock. A source aptly captured this way: “Night is day and day is night at Itiro; but Itiro is only known to very few persons. Not even many people who do business in Agboju market or around the market know about the place. It is indeed small but very mighty.” He is right.
< http://247nigerianewsupdate.com/city-of-sin-where-sex-is-legal-tender/,

7 Jul 2012


Women's Relationships Today follow a very Predictable Pattern:
·         They push men for commitment
·         They get what they want
·         They lose interest in sex
·         They become attracted to someone else
·         They start cheating
·         They become angry and resentful
·         They begin telling their partners that they need time apart
·         They blame their partners for their behavior ... and eventually, after making themselves and everyone around them miserable for an indefinite, but usually, long period of time, they end their relationships or marriages.   

After researching women's sexuality for more than ten years, I can honestly say that most of our societal beliefs about females are grossly distorted and many are completely erroneous. -Michelle Langley, author of Women's Infidelity.

If you're a Male, like most other males, you would probably never suspect that your partner is cheating, not only because of your wife’s or girlfriend’s seeming disinterest in sex; but also because you have the belief that your wife or girlfriend is a “good girl.” Unfortunately, males are frequently left/divorced by their wives and girlfriends without ever knowing about their wives' and girlfriends' infidelities.

If you’re a Female, like most other females, prior to cheating on your partner you always proclaimed yourself to be "not the type" who would ever cheat.  However, also like most other females, after they have cheated, you're shocked and appalled by your behavior; but at the same time you can't stop cheating

Women's Relationships and Marriages will continue to Follow this Same Pattern unless we develop an accurate understanding of females ─ particularly in regard to their sexuality.  In fact, after researching women's sexuality for more than ten years, I can honestly say that most of our societal beliefs about females are grossly distorted and many are completely erroneous. 

The media has finally begun to acknowledge, albeit to a small degree, the widespread Problem of Female Infidelity.  Recently, several books and articles have attempted to explain why women are now cheating as much as men.  However, none were successful in their attempt.  All of them left out very important pieces to this extremely complicated puzzle.  I believe the majority were simply unable to find all of the information necessary to figure out the problem.  Although, I'm certain that some were just afraid to disclose certain key pieces of information because the truth, quite frankly, is so contrary to our current beliefs.  Unfortunately, without these missing pieces, it's impossible to understand, and to subsequently fix, the real problem occurring in relationships today. 

My Story:
Shortly after my 27th  birthday, I began to feel very different.  I had been happily married for 4 years and then, suddenly out of nowhere, I began feeling bored and unhappy.  In an attempt to figure out what was causing my unhappiness, I looked for answers in books, tried to talk to my Mother and eventually went to see a psychologist.   All of the information I received attributed the way I was feeling to my husband, and similar to the majority of women, I began to view my husband as the culprit too.

Currently, Women are Initiating 70 - 75% of all Divorces
Later, through my own research, I discovered that what I was experiencing was quite normal.  In fact, women are the most likely to divorce in their late twenties and thirties after an average of 4 years of marriage.  During this time, it's quite common for women to experience a pre-midlife crisis, which is similar to the male midlife crisis, only with an important difference - a difference that can actually make women more likely to cheat than men. 
The "Stagesthat Women often Experience during the course of their Long-term Relationships                            
Several years into my research I was able to identify distinctive patterns and behaviors in the women I interviewed.  I categorized these into four separate “stages” that women often experience during the course of their long-term relationships. The stages begin with a loss of sexual desire.

Women at Stage 1 feel as though something is missing in their lives. They have all the things that they wanted—a home, a family, a great husband—but they feel they should be happier. Over time, many women in this stage begin to lose interest in sex. It is not uncommon for them to spend a great deal of energy trying to avoid physical contact with their husbands because they fear it might lead to a sexual encounter. They frequently complain of physical ailments to avoid having sex and often try to avoid going to bed at the same time as their husbands. They view sex as a job, not unlike doing the dishes or going to the grocery store. Some women in Stage 1 claim they feel violated when their husbands touch them.  Their bodies freeze up and they feel tightness in their chest and/or a sick feeling in their stomach. The majority of women in Stage 1 feel as though there is something wrong with them, that they are in some way defective. They are also fearful that their disinterest in sex will cause their husbands to cheat, or worse yet, leave them.

Women at Stage 2 experience reawakened desire stimulated by an encounter outside the marital relationship. Whether these encounters with a "new" man involve sex or remain platonic, women will typically give a tremendous amount of emotional significance to these encounters.
Many women in this stage haven't felt any sexual desire for a long time. Many experience tremendous guilt and regret, regardless of whether their new relationships are sexual, merely emotional, or both. Most begin to experience what could be termed an identity crisis—even those who try to put the experience behind them. Constant reminders are everywhere. They feel guilt when the topic of infidelity arises, whether in the media, in conversations with family and friends, or at home with their husbands. Women in this stage can no longer express their prior disdain for infidelity without feeling like a hypocrite. They feel as though they have lost a part of themselves. Reflecting society’s belief that women are either “good” or “bad,” women will question their “good girl” status and feel that they might not be deserving of their husbands. Many will try to overcome feelings of guilt by becoming more attentive toward and appreciative of their husbands. However, over time many women will move from appreciation to justification. In order to justify their continued desire for other men, women will begin to attribute these desires to needs that are not being met in their marriage, or to their husband’s past behavior. Many women will become negative and sarcastic when speaking of their husbands and their marriages and it is not uncommon for an extramarital affair to follow.

Women at Stage 3 are involved in affairs, ending affairs, or contemplating divorce. Women who are having affairs experience feelings unlike anything they have experienced before. They feel “alive” again and many believe they have found their soul mates. These women are experiencing feelings associated with a chemically altered state, or what is typically referred to as being in love.
These women are also typically in tremendous pain, the pain of choosing between their husbands and their new love interests. They typically believe that what they are doing is wrong and unfair to their husbands, but yet are unable to end their affairs. Many often try several times. Prior to meeting with their lovers, they will vow that it will be the last time, but they are unable to stick with their decisions.
Unable to end their extramarital relationships, women at Stage 3 conclude that their lovers are soul mates because they are unaware that they have become addicted to the high caused by chemicals released during the initial stages of a relationship. Many live in a state of limbo for years. “Should I stay married or should I get a divorce?” this is the question continuously on the minds of women at Stage 3 - it is also common for women at this stage to attempt to initiate a separation. In most cases, husbands of women at Stage 3, will launch futile attempts to make their wives happy by being more attentive, spending more time at home and helping out around the house. Regardless of women’s past and present complaints, the last thing women at Stage 3 want, is to spend more time with their husbands.

The reason many women will give for their desire to separate is a “search for self.” They convince their husbands that they might be able to save their marriage if they can just have time to themselves. They tell their husbands that time apart is the only hope of improving their current situation. Women at this stage want to free themselves of the restrictions of marriage and spend more time with their lovers. Most think that eventually their confusion will disappear.  They think they will eventually know with certainty whether they want to stay married or get divorced and be with their lovers. Separation allows women at this stage, to enjoy the high they experience with their lovers without giving up the security of their marriages. Husbands of Stage 3 women are often unaware that their wives are having affairs. Their lack of suspicion is typically due to their wife’s disinterest in sex and in their belief that their wife is a “good girl.”

Women at Stage 3 may also be experiencing the ending of an extramarital affair, and the ending may not have been their decision. They may have been involved with single men who either lost interest because the relationship could not progress or who became attracted to another women who was single. Women whose affairs are ending often experience extreme grief. They may become deeply depressed and express tremendous anger toward their husbands. They are typically unaware that they are experiencing chemical withdrawal due to sudden changes in their brain chemistry. As a result, many will feel that they have missed their chance at happiness due to their indecisiveness.

Believing they have become more aware of what they want and need from a mate, women at this stage will often place the utmost importance on finding a "new" relationship that will give them the feeling they experienced in their affairs. A new relationship with a new partner will also represent a clean slate, a chance for these women to regain their “good girl” status. Some women will search for new partners during their separations. Others will return to their marriages, but not emotionally and still continue to search. Some women will resume sporadic sexual relations with their husbands in an effort to safeguard their marriage until they make a decision. Although they are often not sexually attracted to their husbands, desire is temporarily rekindled when they suspect their husbands are unfaithful, are contemplating infidelity, or when their husbands show signs of moving on.

The women in stage four included those who chose to stay married and continue their affairs and those who chose to divorce. Some of the women who continued their affairs stated that marital sex was improved by maintaining the extramarital relationship. Some thought the lover was a soul mate, but for one reason or another did not leave their husband and did not feel torn between the two. Others realized that their feelings were intensified by not sharing day-to-day living arrangements with their lover. Almost all of the women in this latter category were having affairs with married men. They believed their affairs could continue indefinitely without disrupting either partner’s primary relationship.
The women who chose divorce and were in the beginning stages of a new relationship typically expressed relief at having finally made a decision and reported feeling normal again. Many of the divorced women who had remarried and were several years into their new marriages seemed somewhat reluctant to talk about the specifics of their past experiences. However, they did mention feelings of guilt and regret for having hurt their children and ex-spouses only to find themselves experiencing similar feelings in the new relationship. 

Female infidelity will not only continue to be extremely common but it will also continue to be on the rise   
Women are cheating and relationships are ending because men and women lack necessary information.  Today's relationship problems are not only solvable, but many can be easily solved ─once you understand what the real problem is.  The information in Women's Infidelity should be common knowledge to couples, both married and unmarried, and to dating males and females.  Trying to have a relationship today without the information in this book is like to trying to read without knowing the letters of the alphabet.  This is not an exaggeration ─ it's a fact.  
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